Be you...Be Seen: Be Authentic
It is an amazing, and rare, feeling to have someone truly know you. To understand your thoughts and feelings, to cry with you, to laugh with you, to know your fears and your dreams. Most of us crave this kind of connection, but in order to find it we have to be authentic, and that can be hard.
Why do we struggle with authenticity ?
How can we take steps to change that?
The first question was, why, and the answer is Fear. In order to be known, we need to be vulnerable. To be authentic means that you need to be open and honest with your thoughts and feelings. This bring up fears: what if they don't like me, what if they don't think the same way, what if the way I am is wrong, what if they don't want to know me...and the list goes on. From the time that we become school age we begin to start trying to fit in. We model our clothes, speech, likes and dislikes, around what we believe to be the norm (or most popular). Fitting in means not feeling alone and not risking embarrassment. It is natural and normal to want to fit in, but that effort to assimilate makes it difficult to be authentic.
So, let's answer the next question... What steps can we take to become more authentic and be truly seen?
First- Take time to be alone
In order to be authentic out in the world, we need to be authentic with our selves. Who are you when no one is watching? What do you care about? What are you passionate about? What makes you sad and what makes you laugh? Take time in this busy world to just be you, by yourself, and see what makes you tick!
*Keeping a journal is a great tool for this*
Second- Celebrate differences
We are all different and that is GREAT! When we see our unique traits as a good thing, we don't feel the need to hide them from the world. This is also true with how we behave with others. When people feel safe and appreciated, they will be more likely to share their true self. Celebrate your unique traits, as well as the unique attributes found in others. This builds trust and admiration and it opens the door for deeper relationships.
*Verbalize it with a complement (everyone likes to be complemented)*
Third- Take it slow
There are all different levels of relationships and there are many layers to who we are: not all of them need to be exposed at the same time. We can open up a little at a time. This will establish trust with the other person/people involved and that will encourage them to be more open. Be honest and open with your communication, but let it flow naturally.
A tree does not grow in a day, but with the right care it can become tall, strong, and live for many years!
There are a lot of distractions happening in the world (social media, news, friends, family, work, ect.) that can pull us away from who we truly are. Being authentic is intentional. We have to stay in touch with ourselves so that we know who we are and then we can shine out in the world.
Be you...Be Seen...Be Authentic!
"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're suppose to be and embracing who we are." -Brene Brown
-Cheers to the One Amazing You
Great article on relationship building: The Science of Making Friends
Another article on be Authentic: Accept Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval